The Meanest Mom in the Whole World

Yep, you read that right, that's me: the meanest mom in the whole world.

Jealous of my new prestigious title? Wondering what you can do to have it for yourself? Well... okay, I might just help you out so you can feel as lucky and proud as I do.

First, you have to ruin your child's day by announcing that after Hannah Montana is over, she may not watch any more t.v. until her room is clean. (wait, wait, there's more that alone won't get you the prestige). Then the t.v. goes off and you have to sweetly remind your child there room must be clean. The (not-so) sweet child will then pull out her nintendo ds (because of course she doesn't want to watch tv anymore, so she doesn't need to clean her room).

While your in the middle of getting peed on by your baby, you won't notice this. When you finally get both of your clothes changed and try and see the progress of the room, you notice that your child is jumping over mushroom men as Mario and a little less sweetly you say, "You have to clean your room now." She will remind you that she can't save the game in the middle of the level. Now pay attention, this is important, you will then remove the ds from your child's hands and turn the game off mid-level. This will cause a series of hysterics. Hysterics are good, it helps get you closer to your coveted title.

Meanwhile, your stupid little dog will somehow pull out the soaking wet diaper from the trash can and rip it apart in the only clean room in your house. (I mean, what better place is there to spread those pee crystals around in than a room that is freshly mopped?) While your cleaning this up (seriously, those things are impossible to pick up) and bleaching the floor because EWWWW, you are just mortified at the germs that this could bring, your not-anywhere-near-sweet daughter will pull out her cell phone. Her daddy is too busy to answer the phone so she leaves him a sobbing message of how unfair you are being. Now, comes the next step (be brave, you can do it), take the cell phone away.

Now, this will cause more hysterics which will proceed for the next hour and a half, with intermitent trips into the kitchen so you can see that she is still sobbing. Another tough one, you actually have to be so fed up with her that you ignore her. (yes, I know, bordering on child abuse, but your so close now that you can't back down).

She will stop crying after this hour and a half to come tell you she is hungry and wants lunch. Now, take a deep breath, don't let yourself actually make a peanut butter sandwich and smash it into her face, you have to be like me and REFUSE to feed your child. (Yes, yes, go ahead call CPS).

This will result in another half hour of screaming before your child will actually spend the next 15 minutes cleaning her room and be finished. Okay, so now you have accomplished your goal and you have to calmly point out how she wasted so much time for 15 minutes of cleaning.

Then the stupid little cell phone you previously confiscated rings and you must not her answer it, and instead talk to her friend for her and explain, "No, she may not come over to your house today, she has decided to be grumpy, rude and not follow the rules and that has resulted in her being unable to play."

That is it, that is all it takes, for when you thank her little friend for calling, and hang up the phone, you will hear it... just what you have been waiting for, "YOU ARE THE MEANEST MOM IN THE WORLD!!!" Your goal is accomplished.


Slight Disclaimer: Mom, I take it back... you are not the meanest mom in the world.

So many little things...

So many little things were running through my head as I was driving home from taking Ally to gymnastics today. I was thinking: "What can I make for dinner that is fast AND healthy?", "I've got to make Ally read her book several more times and prepare her for her test on it tomorrow", "I wonder if Devin will be too stinky tomorrow if I skip his bath tonight?", "Dang! I left the colored batch in the dryer and that means they will be all wrinkly," "I've got to at least read the Sunday School lesson so I am ready for Sunday", "Why is Devin crying now? Why do I actually have to tell Ally to put his binki back in, can't she hear him crying?"... The list can go on and on. So, halfway into this 20 minute drive home, I am feeling a major headache coming on and wondering what I did to deserve this...

Then suddenly I hear hysterical laughter coming from the back seat, and I pause. Ally calls, "Peek-a-boo," and Devin could have busted a gut in body-shaking laughter.



Suddenly so many other little things ran through my head, so many little things that I am thankful for:
- that peek-a-boo can make a 5-month-olds world more right than a binki
- that Ally is doing so well in school that she takes second-grade reading tests in first grade
- that when the 14 and 15 year olds at church found out Alex and I were teaching them they were ACTUALLY excited
- for big toothless, slobbery smiles that greet me first thing in the morning
- for dancing around the kitchen with a crazy 7-year-old singing, "Before He Cheats" and washing the dishes together
- for a husband that doesn't bat an eye when your 2 carat diamond ring goes missing for a month
- for lunch with friends eating broccoli cheese soup at Chili's
- for chocolate ice cream with hot fudge on top
- for House Hunters marathons on HGTV
- that my parents will be visiting in 3 weeks and evenings of hand-and-foot

All these things and many more flashed through my mind and once again I was wondering what I had done to deserve this.

Long Few Weeks

It's been a crazy past few weeks. Devin got pretty sick, some stomach bug, and lost a couple of pounds... pretty scary. Luckily he is starting to feel better in these past few days.

Ally also had Wacky Tacky Day at school and won first place in her class.



I used popcycle sticks to make her braids stand straight up and bright red and blue hair gel to make the stripes.

Just Listed

Our house is finally up for sale...

FAQ's
Do we think it will sell?
*Probably not, but we can always hope.
Am I going crazy trying to keep it spotless?
*Definitely!!!
Will we ever buy a house to fix up and sell again?
*NEVER!!!
Do we have ANY idea what we would do if it actually did sell?
*None what-so-ever.

Naked is Best!

We let Devin hang out naked for a while (with a garbage bag covered by towels). He LOVED it! I have never seen him move so much! He would start to roll over but then get halfway over and change his mind and go back on to his belly!