So Blessed

Last Sunday, Alex blessed and named Aja to be counted on the records of our church. It was such a beautiful experience. Not only to hear the beautiful blessing Alex gave her, but to be surrounded by so many people that loved her and came to be there for her.

I'm not a fan of bearing my testimony... not because I don't have one, but because I don't like getting up in front of a hundred people and talking. Alex bore his testimony on Sunday, and it was powerful to me. My brother-in-law Dave did as well and it made me admire him all the more.

I do have a testimony, and it's not really meant to be a secret. One of these fast Sunday's I am going to get up to the pulpit and say it. I want my family to know what I believe, my gorgeous husband and my beautiful children. I even want the amazing young women I serve with to know.

I have a lot of reason to feel blessed in my life. Having a new baby really puts a lot of things in perspective. It's amazing to look into the eyes of one so freshly from Heaven, so trusting and pure. It makes me feel so humbled to be entrusted with someone that special. I can't imagine not being sealed to my family for eternity, how broken I would be if they were only mine for this time on earth.

I had another humbling experience in these past months. If you don't know much about the LDS church then you need to know we believe in the power of the priesthood. We believe the keys of the priesthood were passed down and ordained members of our church can bless and heal the sick, the same way Jesus did when he was alive on this earth. I have seen the miracles of the priesthood so many times in my life, and I was once again reminded that the blessing of the priesthood is a blessing from God.

Alex and my dad gave me a blessing the morning before I went into to have my c-section to have Aja. I hadn't slept the night before and I was exhausted and yes, pretty terrified too. It was early, and Ally and Devin were still sleeping. I was half tempted to get them up to witness and feel the blessing, but I also wanted the silence and peace that came from them still asleep.

I don't remember much of what Alex said... but I remembered one thing. You see, the last time I had a c-section with Devin, it was awful... no, horrific. The pain was worse then anything I had ever experienced in my life. Why? I don't know, only that the memory of how bad it was had never left my mind. In my blessing, Alex promised me that I would have an easy recovery.

Did it bring me comfort? No. Imperfect, doubting Tammy thought, "How can Alex promise me that? Is he doing it just so I won't be so scared?" I was kind of irritated that he would promise something that he had no control over.

I am ashamed of how I felt. You see, I forgot what I knew: Alex was only the vessel the words came through, the blessing was really from Heavenly Father and He wanted to give me comfort and a promise that I would heal quickly and easily.

Did my mind change later that morning? Still no. I again remember laying on the operating table, and the doctor's trying to tug her out, because she was transverse. The nurse even told me my recovery would be a lot worse because of all the tugging and extra cutting to get her out. I was laying on the operating table thinking how wrong the blessing was, and Alex had failed in his blessing.

A blessing takes faith too. You have to believe in the words and have faith that they will be carried out. Where was my faith? I am mortified that I didn't have any.

So why did the blessing work? Why was my recovery so easy and quick? It's not because I had faith... it may be because Alex had faith and knew where the promise came from. Or maybe it's just because Heavenly Father loves me so much and kept His promise, even if I doubted and lacked faith to receive the blessing. I feel so blessed to be a daughter of God, to have Him there for me. I feel bad that I forgot His power and His love.

It did strengthen my testimony once again, that the preisthood was brought to this earth through Joseph Smith and the restoration of the gospel. It is the same power that Jesus Christ used on this earth to raise Lazurus from the dead, make the blind see and cured the leper. It is the same gentle power that blessed the children and comforted the sad, and gives us the power to seal our families together forever in His temples.

I know this church is the true church. I know that President Thomas S. Monson is a prophet of God, as well as the other great men that lead this church. I know that Jesus Christ and my Heavenly Father are always there for me, even when I forget in that miracle. I say these things, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.