Guilt

is such an ugly thing.

I feel so guilty for "making" Alex move back to Utah. I didn't force him, but he wouldn't have moved if he wasn't trying to make me happy.... but now he is the one that is unhappy.

He hates his job here... he loved his one back in Arizona, and now he is miserable here. It's amazing that the same job can be made horrible by who he works with and who his boss is.

He doesn't blame me... he rarely complains, but oh, how I feel SO incredibly guilty. In so many ways I wish we would have just stayed. I love being by family, but that is it. I loved Arizona, the schools, Alex's job, the weather, the small town feel (NEVER thought I would say that one), Ally's friends, the freedom... such a trade-off that I made my little family give up... did we make the right decision? I wish I could freely say "yes" and not feel this horrible guilt.