Nine

Dear Ally,

Today you turned nine years old... Nine years and nine whole months you have been in my life. What a blessing each precious second has been to me. We've spent a lot of time lately talking with you about the past, our past. From talking about your seizures as a baby, to the time you left Scooby in the Tucson airport and we finally came clean that it was in fact a new Scooby and the flight attendants hadn't really mailed him back to us.

I will never forget my first moments with you alone. Daddy was gone and even the nurses had disappeared. I remember stroking your soft, fuzzy, dark hair and looking at your big dark eyes. I remember feeling scared, not knowing what to do with something so tiny and so completely mine. But those few moments of fear quickly got lost in complete wonder at the tiny fingers curled around one of mine and the fact that you were mine... and then the wonder disappeared, and it was just you and me, and I finally knew what unconditional love meant.

You've always been mine. As a toddler you were forever attached to me and I wondered if I would ever get a moments peace from you... but those days are gone. You are still mine, but as you are constantly with friends, playing on your own, going to school so many hours a day, I sometimes wish you were the toddler that would scream if I was ever a few steps away. I never understood how hard it is to let someone grow up. Sometimes you probably wonder why I come into your room to listen to some music with you, even when you know I really can't stand The Jonas Brothers... it's simple. I'm still a little too attached, and even if I can't scream when you're too many steps away, I sneak in ways all I can to just be near you.

You are the most amazing nine-year-old I have ever met. Yes, you are beautiful and smart, but you are also the most caring, sweet and tender-hearted too! Your compassion and patience for your brother is amazing, and your hugs can make the whole world seem right again. You are honest, and amaze me how you always try to do what is right. I know you are only nine years old, but you are one of the few people I can really count on.

So, please be patient with this mom that still wants to hold your hand, and hug you when you leave for school every morning. I am not quite as ready as you are to let go, but I am trying. You have made me so proud of you and the beautiful young lady you are today.

So, Happy Birthday, my not-so, little one.

Love,
Mom